“We all become what we pretend to be”

Hi guys How´s your Wednesday? Two more days left, and then it´s suddenly weekend again. Amazing how both fast and slow time can be at the very same time. It´s too slow when thinking about my plans on the long run, but the days passes by so fast, I even sometimes forget my own age. Like today. My pupils asked about my age, and I actually had to stop and think. “Am I 23 or was it 24 I turned last October?”.

Like I said to one of my friends a while ago: I tend to keep my eyes forward, always looking forward to something way ahead of me. Like “this is just a phase, things will change (…) ” :
-when I turn 16/18/21
-when I get my own car
-when I move out from my parents
-when I start working for my own money
-when I get married
-when I´ve bought my own apartment
-when I travel abroad
-when I´m finished with my education
-next school semester
-next summer
-next year
and..so..on..

These are just some of my usual thoughts. But I only realised lately that precious phases and moments keeps on passing me by while my eyes/focus is really set somewhere else, distracting me from really enjoying life right now. I keep living in the future.

So I said to my friend: This year, I am going to be better at being just here, in the moment. Sometimes I feel like wearing a mask regarding this subject because it feels so unatural to block out future concerns and/or joy. But as they say, “We understand how dangerous a mask can be. We all become what we pretend to be.” (source). So if I keep on reminding myself about the present, I believe living right now will become a natural part of my system. And yes I will wait for that, because who really knows about what tomorrow will bring.

I will smile more
I will notice more
I will stop for a minute and breath more
I will be better at doing one thing at the time
I will continue to dream big but focus on the hard work I do today
I will be better at forgiving the past
I will continue/be better at spreading love
and
I will be better at just being rather than waiting for the future
(Source of inspiration)